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[Music] how to get laid part two the mechanics and the outer game the techniques this is what you've been waiting for but make sure you go watch part one for the foundation the theory the overview so everything i'm gonna be talking about here has been rigorously field tested by myself and by other guys for thousands of hours for for years and for decades so this stuff definitely works and the way you can know if it works is by going out and field testing it yourself by all means don't believe anything that i say as gospel go try it and see what girls actually respond to positively versus negatively if you do that a lot well you'll realize that the things i'm talking about here are quite accurate so again to sort of put this in a bigger picture understanding let's clearly explain what game is not and what game is because there's a lot of misconceptions about this so what game is not game is not about tricking women into sleeping with you game is not about using canned pickup lines game is not about being fake what game is game is learning how to approach just doing a solid direct confident natural looking approach requires a lot of practice and experience women don't seem to understand this women just expect men to be able to approach in a smooth way like from birth no this this takes thousands of approaches to be able to do uh a very smooth natural effortless approach for most guys especially those guys who are sort of anti-social and who don't have a lot of experience socializing game is also learning how to flirt how to be playful and how to be emotional one of the biggest problems that us guys have is that we're very logical especially those of us who have logical careers where we are doing philosophy computer science programming engineering lawyers doctors actually some of the best provider guys the guys who have some of the best jobs who make some of the best money business guys entrepreneurs women would love to date these guys the problem is that these guys are so logical that the woman can't connect with them emotionally and so these guys generally don't know how to flirt so learning how to be emotional with women right off the bat this is one of the biggest aspects of game that you gotta master another aspect is learning wit and verbal skills now this is closely connected to flirting but be how to be witty and how to have good verbal skills this is something that a lot of men lack and this holds you back from being able to attract the quality women that you want women are very unforgiving when it comes to your verbal skills you might be an awesome guy in all other respects you might have a great career you might work out you might be very healthy you might be into spirituality and all that stuff but if you don't have the right verbal skills you're not going to attract her in a certain sense this is very shallow of women to judge a guy so harshly on verbal skills alone because you know verbal skills if you think about it you don't necessarily need great verbal skills to be successful in life now of course it's helpful but there are many jobs where verbal skills are not important but women predominantly judge you on first appearances and your verbal skills so this needs to be developed another aspect of game is learning how to be highly social and calibrated just being the kind of guy who can walk into a room and schmooze with everybody small talk with everybody in an easy effortless way this is difficult for many of us introverts but this is highly attractive to women and it's necessary in order to well just to talk to a lot of them and also becoming very calibrated what this means is that you need to gain a deep enough base of experience to the point where you can understand the subtle cues that women are sending you see women are very implicit rather than explicit they don't tell you exactly what they're feeling what they're thinking many times why they like you or why they don't like you and a lot of times women will send you mixed signals or they'll give you very subtle social cues but if you lack the necessary experience then you're going to misread those cues you're going to miss those cues you're not going to know does she like me or not does she not like me or not does she like it when i touch her is she ready to be kissed is she ready to follow me home to my bedroom like how do you know these things well the only way you can know these things is by reading subtle cues because you can't explicitly ask her like well are you gonna have sex with me you can't ask a woman that even though she might want that you see but you can't make it explicit and the problem for us very logical men is that we tend to be simple-minded we want things to just be clear and explicit we don't like these sorts of like games that women play where they're sending up sending us little subtle you know signals but we don't really know what it means so you have to become the kind of guy who can read those cues who's very socially experienced to do that the only way you can read those cues is through lots and lots of trial and error and social experience and then once you're calibrated in that way then you can be smooth and natural until then it's going to be very awkward so this is calibration this is a huge component of game calibration everything you do every technique you use or whatever every mechanic it has to be suited to the woman you have to be responding spontaneously to how she's feeling right like you might want to physically escalate on her give her a hug but then if you give her a hug and and she gives you a cold look you got to be able to be wise enough to say ah okay so that hug wasn't done at the appropriate time i have to warm her up first a little bit before i can hug her again or whatever you see and a lot of guys are missing that another aspect of real game is being smooth and natural making women feel comfortable around you you can think of game as just like removing all the awkwardness from meeting a stranger and getting romantic with a stranger quickly usually there are sort of there's a sort of an awkwardness when you meet somebody new and a lot of times for most people who are inexperienced it can take days and weeks of interacting with somebody new a stranger to make them feel like a friend well game is about befriending somebody very quickly and in fact you can use these skills not just to befriend women but to befriend men once you learn these skills you'll be able to sit for example in an airplane and just schmooze with the guy sitting next to you for example for a few hours and he's gonna like become your best friend using these skills that like very very quickly he'll turn into your best friend just talking with him in a sort of a smooth natural way but very socially calibrated and making him feel comfortable and making the woman feel comfortable and of course a big component of this is making her feel comfortable with your physical touch so a big aspect of game is learning smooth physical escalation how do you start to physically touch a woman quickly after meeting her in such a way that doesn't creep her out and it feels totally natural and normal to her and in fact it puts a smile on her face and she loves it how do you do that that takes practice and some some theory another big aspect of game is learning how to deal with logistical problems this is a huge aspect of game in a sense this is the biggest aspect you deal with after you get your verbals down and you're able to approach then it's all about handling the logistics because women will throw a lot of logistical obstacles to you there will be her friends you have to deal with she's going to have work in the morning she's going to have various kinds of excuses for why she can't be with you and all this sort of stuff and you have to deal with that and figuring out how like how do you get to her place how do you get her to your place how do you make her comfortable about all that so it doesn't seem creepy or weird or awkward another aspect of real game is busting your negative limiting beliefs and just building core inner confidence in yourself starting to feel like you're an attractive guy starting to feel like you're not a loser you're not a loner and that when you go into a club or a bar or any kind of social environment you feel like you're coming from a place of high self-esteem you don't feel like you're some sort of wallflower or you're the odd one out but you feel like you can be the center of the room you can hold attention and you're comfortable with that so that's a lot of the inner game stuff we talked about in part one and the final aspect of game is and this is sort of an advanced aspect it's finding your authentic style of game it's not about copying me or some other pickup artist or whatever out there and using his techniques you gotta ultimately find what is the most natural and congruent way for you to express your romantic feelings towards a woman let's say you're sitting at a coffee shop and you see a beautiful woman walk in and like to you it's almost like love at first sight like you really feel like there might be some connection there of course it's just based on physical appearance but you know sometimes you get that sort of like love at first sight sense but then you're sitting there and you're all in your head about you know well how do i approach her what do i say to her what kind of style should i use should i be physical should i be loud and obnoxious should i be quiet should i be cool should i be chill like what style do i use right and so and then what verbals do i say do i just copy some line i heard somewhere on the internet but see that's not authentic to you so when i first began learning game one of the mistakes that i made is i didn't realize how important it was to find my own unique style of game and so i would use various lines or i would use the style of other guys not realizing that they don't fit my style so if you're more introverted if you're more low energy you've got to find a style that suits that you can't just be copying high-energy extroverts because then when you try to pull that off it's not going to be congruent it's not going to be natural and she's going to feel that from you and she won't get attracted to you so ultimately the deepest aspect of game and probably the most rewarding is finding your own personality and that takes work it takes a lot of practice to find your own unique personality and to be able to express yourself now you know a lot of women actually recognize this uh and if you ask a woman like for some dating advice she's gonna say something like hey you don't need all this complicated theory and all these techniques all this pickup stuff all you need to do is just be yourself that's what women will tell you that's their number one dating advice just be yourself and of course they're right where they're wrong though is that they don't understand how difficult it is to be yourself they say that as though that's easy and that that comes with no practice no that requires thousands of hours of practice for many guys to to be yourself just to be yourself in the end at the very end of this game journey learning game you're just going to be yourself but you're going to be like your highest self not your weak little pathetic inexperienced self right your your most confident self your most experienced self your most mature self your most conscious self the self that has really gone deeply inward and and kind of smoothed out your various rough edges the not awkward not shy not fearful self but the confident bold self with high self esteem your own self-love will shine through you which right now you're rusty with that's going to take some years for you to discover what your authentic style is you don't even know that yet because you're so inexperienced it's sort of like if you're trying to become an author or a filmmaker for you to really be at the peak of your game as a filmmaker or a musician for example you need to find your authentic style and you would think that well that's easy you should be able to do that it's just a newbie but no for a filmmaker or a musician to really find their style that can take years of exploration you can make films that every film you make it doesn't quite it doesn't quite align with what you really wanted to say as a as a creator it can take years and decades to really hit your stride and find out what is the the unique creative vision that you're offering with your with your work likewise what are you really offering to the woman in terms of your energy your masculinity finding that core that is true game and that is what women find highly attractive and it's very rare within men because most men have not done the work to find their authentic style and don't think of it as a style of game think of it more a style of expressing your romantic feelings towards a woman because you're a guy it doesn't matter whether you have game or don't have game the fact is you have romantic feelings towards women if you're a heterosexual guy with a normal healthy you know hormone system you have romantic feelings towards women but the problem is that you don't know how to express them in an authentic way because you're afraid she's going to reject you you're afraid you're going to look creepy you're afraid your friends will judge you you're afraid you're going to screw it up and so you might want to escalate on a woman you might want to kiss a woman but then you're afraid it's like she likes me i like her should i kiss her now or should i wait an hour or kiss her later what if it goes awkward what if she reject me like right so at the end of this game journey you're going to clear all that up to the point where when you really feel genuine attraction towards a woman and you want to kiss her you're just going to go and kiss her and it's going to be no hesitation and it's going to be smooth and effortless and she's going to respond in kind very well because of the confidence with which you express your authentic passion towards her and then your passion towards her will turn into her passion towards you and it's gonna turn into a beautiful romance you see but this takes a lot of practice this is not effortless it's not natural to begin with now let's also address this point again of you know but leo isn't pick up creepy because this keeps coming up look being naturally social flirty and fun and charismatic isn't seen as creepy at all by other people it's highly attractive it's just seen as a charming extroverted guy but if you take a guy who doesn't naturally have these to begin with or he has lack of experience and therefore is deficient in this department and you try to teach him the skills society and people will look at you and look at that whole situation say oh that's creepy because they expect you to be able to either naturally be good at this or if you suck at it then just keep sucking at it for the rest of your life they don't give you the leeway to actually practice this stuff and to become non-creepy it's like either you're classified as a creepy guy or a cool guy and nothing in between and there's nothing you can do to churn from a creepy guy into a cool guy in fact if a creepy guy tries to turn into a cool guy that is creepy and that's what makes you a creep and you'll forever be a creep that's how society and women tend to look at this situation um but of course we need a solution where we can turn creepy guys into cool guys how do you do that well through this process that i'm teaching here uh you see the problem here is that human sexuality because it is so linked to survival is so central to our survival and it's coded so deeply into our subconscious minds that for most people sex and dating is totally unconscious they take no responsibility for how sex happens most people do not consciously go about saying okay i suck at sex i suck at flirting i suck at dating i suck at kissing whatever and i'm gonna deliberately consciously practice these things and become good at this when you try to do that very oddly society looks at you like you're a creep but actually you're doing the right thing you're taking responsibility you're taking ownership of the problem rather than just letting it happen however it happens and so one of the challenges that women have in understanding this whole process of getting better with women the reason a lot of times they don't understand it is because i notice that a lot of women simply don't take any responsibility at all for sex they're just operating completely on autopilot now a lot of guys do that too even a lot of so-called natural guys guys who are good with women it's just like they're on autopilot and so what ultimately you will find is that most people in life are on autopilot about everything not just dating but about their finances their family situation their marriage their children their business their career everything's on autopilot everything's unconscious and then teaching a person how to make it conscious you know when you first try to make a conscious it's a little bit awkward and weird there's effort involved it can be it can be seen as try hard you are a try hard you're trying hard to improve and it takes a lot of work because there's a steep learning curve within all these different domains to improve on all these things um but what people don't realize is that after years of effort eventually it becomes natural it becomes second nature becomes effortless and then when people interact with you they say oh leo you were always this very charismatic person you were always extroverted you always had this great speaking ability and these great verbal skills and you were always good at flirting and you always had a good sense of humor and you were always intelligent and you were always very conscious it's like no i wasn't that required enormous work you just don't see the work you're seeing the tip of the iceberg you're seeing the results you're not seeing the work that i do behind the scenes and the work that i do behind the scenes a lot of times it's ugly it's painful it's brutally emotionally challenging and most people aren't doing it and that's why of course most people are mediocre and this is how you rise up out of mediocrity but be careful because a lot of people as you're trying to rise up out of mediocrity and to improve yourself they're going to just call you a try hard or they're going to call you weird or they're going to say oh stop doing that you don't need to do that that's so unnatural not understanding that natural is something you develop you know there's nothing natural about knowing mathematics there's nothing natural about reading um there's not even anything not natural about like writing a lot of the stuff we learn most of stuff we learn in school is highly unnatural the only reason it feels natural to use because you've gone through 12 years of schooling drilling that [ __ ] into your mind and now it's very natural to you and it just seems like oh it's all effortless but it wasn't effortless when you were learning language when you were learning to write and to read and to do math and to do long division this was highly unnatural painful difficult stuff if you think back to your school days and so it is with learning to flirt with women all right so step number one for this is um now we're getting to the outer game you need to find the best locations for approaching women in your city bars clubs malls shopping centers cafes colleges streets parks whatever you need to do some research spend the next month researching these areas that means you gotta pull up google maps find the densest population areas where people hang out where there are women in your city and uh and visit these areas make a whole list of 10 20 30 40 50 different areas in your city where approaching might be possible and then you have to drive there walk there explore the area and look are there women there where are the best times is it during the evening is it during the afternoon during the weekdays during the weekends you got to figure all this [ __ ] out and make a list of your locations this in and of itself simply holds a lot of guys back they just don't know the best locations in their city for doing approaching and if you don't have good locations then you're not going to be motivated to approach you're not even going to know where to go to approach you need to make this conscious and deliberate don't just expect some beautiful woman as you know your as you're going to mcdonald's to be there sitting at the table waiting for you she's not going to be there you need to go where the women are and you got to research that and if you don't have these areas in your city then it's time to move cities and in fact this is one of the biggest things and best things you can do for your game is move to a big city where there are places where lots of beautiful women congregate and there is high volume and abundance rather than scarcity if you really want to learn game this is what you must do now at first you can have excuses for why you can't move leo i got a job i got a career i can't move i can't afford it i don't want to do it it's a hassle i got a house i got an apartment i just renewed my lease these are all excuses how badly do you want to get good with women what you should realize is that it's worth moving even if you have to break your lease even if you have to sell your house it's worth it why do you want to live in such a lame city where there are not the abundance of women and the quality of women that you want why are you living in this city you could find a new job you could find a way to transfer yourself somehow you can make it work if not immediately then within six months within a year or so forth i literally broke my lease when i was in dallas because i was so serious about this and i wanted to move to vegas i literally broke my lease halfway through i paid a penalty of several thousand dollars then i paid an additional several thousand dollars just in relocation expenses to relocate um i had to pay a slightly higher rent because in dallas i lived with a roommate and then in vegas i didn't have a roommate i lived by myself um so my rent was a little bit higher and uh it was a hassle to move all my stuff drive all the way there do all this but at the same time it was also exciting and actually moving cities is one of the best things you can do for your personal development because once you get stuck in a city for too long you fall into a rut it's it's good to move around every five ten years move to a new city experience life in a different city experience different city cultures this is good for you aside from what it does for your dating life now what are the best cities you can move to for game well of course very much depends on where you live around the world many of you guys live in different countries different on different continents but if we're talking about the united states the best cities are new york las vegas miami austin la if we're talking about internationally you know just look at the biggest cities london for example is great um there are many big cities in europe that would be great and in spain in maybe in germany maybe in the scandinavia you can find big cities um with opportunities uh as far as in asia i'm less familiar with with the scene there but just you know basically you're looking for the most dense metro areas essentially with a good nightlife and also hopefully with a good you know cafes streets bars during the day shopping centers malls college campuses this sort of stuff so i ideally you pick a city that has great night game and day game opportunities of course living in a big city is more expensive although some big cities you can find affordable affordable big cities um you can have roommates you know rather than focusing on all the reasons why you can't do it focus on how can i do it because i need to do it and what you'll realize is that moving to a big city like this if you're trying to learn the skill set is one of the most important things the single most important thing you can do so do it do it if you're serious and if you don't want to move then you're you're not serious in which case you probably shouldn't even be learning this skill set because the only way you're going to get payoff for learning the skill set is if you're serious this is not this is not a joke here this is not something you dabble in this is something you do seriously and you you commit a significant chunk of your life to at least for a few years to get good at it now let's talk about the difference between day game and night game what does this mean well day game just means gaming during the day night game means game gaming during the night the key difference is that during night game there's going to be alcohol we're talking about bars and clubs mostly during day game we're talking about things like college campuses sidewalks shopping malls cafes this sort of stuff there are some important differences between the two during night game what's great about it is that you can get a lot of approaches in the volume the abundance is what's great about night game uh also the fact that people are drinking this does help it loosens people up it's a more high energy environment this also means that you can get away with a lot more than what you can with during the day you can be less socially calibrated so this is great for for newbies who are still kind of socially awkward people will tolerate you a lot better at night than they will during the day during the day you have to be very very socially calibrated and sort of like chill at night you can practice more ballsy approaches you can practice physical escalation a lot more there's a lot more girls to approach um [Music] they're a little bit looser they're a little bit less in the logical mode of thinking that they are during the day and they are more in the party mode that they are during the night now one of the downsides is if you're a low energy person then you might not actually like that because your low energy game is not going to be enough to gather the get the attention of girls who are you know drinking and dancing and stuff at night but also what's so powerful about night game is that this is where you cut your teeth this is where you really learn uh because these are some of the most difficult situations you're in a very loud club there's a lot of girls they're dressed up some of them are very beautiful very intimidating what's great is you have a lot of targets a lot of opportunities and if you get a blowout it's not a big deal you can just move on to the next one and also of course with night game since it is night time you have a chance of actually pulling the girl home or going to her place and making something happen exactly that night with day game i actually love day game day game is amazing it sort of suits my personality better than night game um i've got i've done a lot of both of course i've done a lot more night game just because there's a lot more volume at night during the day game the biggest problem that i find is that it's difficult to find in most cities an area where there are lots of attractive women that you can approach during the day usually if i do day game it's like i approach one two three maybe four women in a span of a few hours like let's let's say you go to the a very busy mall even at a very busy mall there's a lot of women there but the the number of women you would actually want to approach and date is going to be quite few at least it is for me i have pretty high standards and there's just not that many beautiful women walking around all dressed up you know during the day and what i find during the day is that you have to do a pretty direct approach and i want it to be an honest genuine approach such that if i'm if i'm directly approaching a woman at a mall during the day i have to be genuinely attracted to her and that to me that's just pretty rare that's not very common uh even if i go out deliberately and spend three hours at the mall walking around i'm only gonna see a handful probably three or less women that i would be genuinely attracted to and want to date and so this does present a problem because it is difficult just to gain enough approach experiences just from day game really to get good at day game because i was doing a lot of night game that helped me then to translate those skills into day but if i was only doing day game i would not have enough experience and so i'm assuming you're going to run to the same problem but you know some cities are really good for that for example new york la london these cities like very large cities can present amazing day game opportunities maybe even better than night game now what's great about day game though is that women are are much less approached during the day than at night at night they're getting hit on by drunk eyes all the time and it's kind of cliche to hit on them but during the day a guy who can do a very smooth natural easy approach on a beautiful woman during the day this is pretty rare and then flirt with her this is pretty rare so if you have that kind of skill set you're definitely going to make a very good impression on her and uh and you're going to need a lot fewer approaches during the day than at night to actually make something happen now another problem with day game is that it's rather unrealistic to pull a girl home and sleep with her the same day during day game usually during the day women are more logical they're not in a party mode uh they're also usually busy they're going somewhere they have plans and usually you don't have a lot of time to talk with them usually even if you're lucky a girl will give you five ten minutes of her time during the day and then she has to run off somewhere so this is not ideal at night what's awesome is that you can you can hook a set you can you can talk to a girl for hours for one hour two hours three hours this gets you an enormous amount of experience talking flirting laughing having fun dancing this sort of stuff you can do that for three hours with one girl in one night you can't you can't gain that same level of experience during day game so anyways these are some of the pros and cons actually i find day game i would prefer to do it day game if there was enough girls around to do it with um uh because actually i'm not that i'm not like that interested in one night stands from day game you're not gonna be getting so many white knight stands you're gonna be basically collecting phone numbers and setting up a lot of dates and so i actually prefer that i think most women prefer that too because most women if you think about it like if if her mom or her dad asks well how did you meet your boyfriend and she's going to say would she rather say well this charming guy you know chatted me up at the mall or would she say oh i was drunk and having you know fun with my girlfriends and then this guy pulled me home from a bar or from a club you know which one does she want to say how she met you it's going to be from a day game approach it's more socially acceptable than it is you know partying at a nightclub um although really if what you're looking for is the most sex you're going to get that from night game so now let's move on to how to actually do an approach how to approach a girl we're going to go step by step in sort of the right order that you need to do it in so the first thing you got to do before you even approach her is you got to scan her up and down really look at her look her face look at her body and ask yourself how much do i like her is there a genuine attraction there and believe it or not this actually takes some some skill and some practice i remember i would actually go to malls and i would walk around a mall just looking at hundreds of women walking by like a very busy mall on a weekend and i wouldn't even approach i would just look and i would just scan girls and say would i sleep with her and how confident am i that i want to sleep with her and i would do nothing else and i would just scan hundreds of girls like this just to build my internal radar system for what i actually want in a girl physically because us guys were honestly we're very physically um oriented when it comes to our initial attraction towards a girl now of course i'm not saying personality is not important and other factors aren't important they are but when you're first making your approach you got no idea of her personality you got no idea about her career or whether she's spiritual or she's a drug addict you don't know anything she could be an alcoholic you don't know how do you know who you approach well you got to approach a girl that you're genuinely attracted to at least during the day now during the night maybe you can do some warm-up approaches on girls you're not really interested in just to socialize you can do that too but like for example during the day if i'm approaching a girl i have to be sure that i genuinely like her because when i open her directly i'm going to do a direct open like i'm going to be complimenting her and i'm going to be i'm more than just a compliment i'm going to be in a frame of mind where i am attracted to her and i want that energy to be communicated authentically to her if i think she's adorable i have to feel she's adorable and i have to say that to her right if i'm saying it i have to feel it otherwise there's going to be incongruence there and she'll she'll sense that and there's a difference you know some girls for example i find them adorable other girls i find them cute other girls i find them sexy other girls girls i find them beautiful and depending on like those little subtle distinctions i will compliment her or open her in that in that way and if i don't it's gonna it's gonna come out awkward so find out what your type is does she have to be tall short what do you care about different guys have very different standards for what they want in women so part of this journey for you is finding out what you really want in a woman what is your dream woman and also you have to find that point where you see a girl and then you're a little bit attracted but you're not sufficiently attracted and in that case you have to say no i'm not going to approach i'm not willing to sleep with her and then that's that it's actually very helpful to be clear and kind of binary like up or down yes or no would i actually want to sleep with her would i enjoy that would that make me satisfied if it's yes then you do an approach and if no then don't do the approach um now again there are some exceptions here in terms of like when you're first starting off and maybe you don't have a lot of beautiful women around you you might want to lower your standards a little bit just to gain some experience and if you're at night during the night time you can also lower your standards a bit just because you're socializing you're not necessarily for example doing a direct approach on every girl if you're just doing an indirect approach and you're just socializing you're just talking [ __ ] and just having fun and kind of partying then you don't need to do this but like during the day you wanna you wanna do this uh also the next step is don't overthink it so you're going to go into your head and start to think of like oh no i don't know what to say should i approach now should i wait she's on her phone oh no what do i do you have to basically shut off your mind and clear your mind of all thoughts all these sorts of doubts that you have does she have a boyfriend does she have a husband oh no cut all that [ __ ] off and then you walk straight to her don't delay don't wait for the perfect opportunity walk straight to her you're definitely going to fear and feel anxiety and fear as you're doing this because you're not going to know what to say you're not going to know how she's going to react you don't know if she has a boyfriend or whatever but you push yourself to approach her and then the next step is you get her attention firmly this is not even the opener yet this is just getting her attention so it's very important that you don't do half-assed approaches this is a big mistake that newbies make is they they try to do a a meek 50 or 80 percent approach you have to do 100 approach that means you're clear with yourself you're approaching her right now and she's going to be clear that you approached her there's not going to be any ambiguity of like what does this guy want did he does he want to talk to me or not is he going to talk or not did he touch me or not it's like no you're approaching her directly and you get her attention and usually the way you get her attention is just saying something like hey and a pause hey excuse me and a pause that pause is crucial before you can start running some game on her or even giving her some line or some opener or giving her a compliment about how beautiful she is first you get her attention hey excuse me can i stop you for a moment and then have her stop if she's walking stop her and then a silence and then eye contact make strong eye contact and silence the mistake that newbies make here is that it's like hey excuse me i thought you were beautiful no first you get her attention right especially like during the day she's off in her own world thinking about her own chores she's got to do she's walking through the mall shopping and thinking about something else you're about to hit on her that's a very different frame of mind right so you got to give her a little bit of time to adjust to what's happening here she doesn't know who you are you could be trying to sell her something you could be trying to sell her you know mormonism or religion or a cult or some sort of you know product at the the uh at the mall or whatever she doesn't know who you are or what you want so hey excuse me stop strong eye contact a pause get her attention and of course crucially you smile hey excuse me stop smile i'm not doing it so well right now it's a little bit of a fake smile um but you smile because what you'll find is that when you when you stop a girl like that a lot of times she gets a little bit scared or freaked out because she doesn't know what's happening so you gotta smile to reassure her that there's no threat or danger to her once you got all that down now you can deliver your opener and what should your opener be this is where a lot of guys screw up is that they spend a lot of time overthinking what the right opener should be as though looking for the perfect opener is the thing that's going to get you laid it won't this is a huge mistake it doesn't really matter what your opener is your opener can literally almost anything i'll give you a very simple one here in a second but i want you to understand that the the opener is not important because the opener just gets the conversation going the real [ __ ] is keeping the conversation going that's what's really difficult and then eventually leading it somewhere more serious than just conversation so most of game is not in the opener don't get overly preoccupied about the opener so a standard opener that i like to use which is very effective during day game although hey you can use it during night game as well is you you stop her you get the eye contact and all that and then you tell her hey you know i know this is very forward but i just saw you and i felt very attracted i wanted to come over and speak to you something along those lines or it's like hey excuse me i know this is random but i find you cute i found you cute as you were walking by and i would regret it if i didn't come talk to you hi my name is leo what's your name and this gets the conversation going something like that this is a very standard very straightforward very direct very honest sort of opener if you're genuinely attracted to her and maybe there's something you like about her you you can customize the opener a little bit more if you get more advanced like maybe you like her sense of style her dress maybe you like her hair ask yourself before you approach her like what is it about her that made you attracted to her now if it's something like her tits um then you probably don't want to mention that um but you know if you can find sort of a non-sexual thing about her that attracted you to her then you can say that it's like i saw your hair and i thought it was really beautiful i like your sense of style and then describe her style to her or maybe it's more of a like you can even do an opener where it's like you say like look i saw you walking by i know this is kind of crazy but like and i don't i don't even know how to put my finger on it but something about you your energy just i felt very attracted by your energy stuff like that like that can be sort of it's kind of vague you know and a lot of a lot of times for us guys it is like that we see a girl and it's like we don't exactly know what we like about her what we find attractive about her but just holistically like something draw draws us to her and you can literally say that to her as the opener of course introduce yourself have her introduce you herself to you and then get the conversation going the next step is to be very at ease and relax this is crucial because when you first start doing these approaches you're going to be so scared you're going to be so anxious and tense and the problem is that any anxiety or fear within you is going to translate to her she's gonna see it and read it in your eyes and you might have a very stiff posture in body language so you have to learn to just relax and be at ease and very chill especially this is a daytime approach you want to be super at ease so that she feels completely disarmed and relaxed because you're completely disarmed and relaxed and you're not nervous you're not stuck in your head you're not mumbling now of course when you first start doing this you're going to be very nervous and mumbly and all this sorts of stuff and you'll get plenty of blowouts but as you practice it more you're going to get better the next thing you want to do is you want to be very happy and playful you want to be coming from a happy place not some depressed place be happy be there to have fun with her it's a frame of mind that you teach yourself to enter into you also want to be as genuine and honest as possible about your feelings your intentions and so forth the next step is rather than asking her a bunch of interview questions about what do you do and where are you from and this sort of stuff it's better to make statements about her and make informed guesses for example just by looking at her she might be standing there in a certain kind of dress with a certain kind of hairstyle maybe she has some tattoos maybe she has some piercings maybe she has she's carrying a bag from a store where she just bought something you can make statements and inferences based on that so this is very observational and it's very dependent upon the specific girl you're opening so she might be standing there with with a certain you know bag from a certain store maybe she's standing with a bag from the apple store and then you make some assumptions or you maybe tease her a little bit based upon the fact that she has a you know apple store bag in her hand what does that mean about her or she has a certain dress maybe she's dressed in all black or maybe she has a very flowery dress what does that mean about her so you can make statements and your statements they don't even have to make much sense you you can look at her and you can kind of do like a cold reading say you know you look at the kind of girl that is interested in um you know you look like you have a very corporate look about you do you work in corporate see that's a statement rather than a question a question would be like where do you work that's not so good because that puts you into a very logical interview mode whereas if you make a statement or an assumption about her that's a lot more interesting to her and it'll get her to engage more emotionally you can also make like more humorous joking types of statements about her like maybe she has sort of a little bit of a hippie vibe going and you might say oh you you like to smoke that weed don't you i get that sense from you and see it doesn't matter if you're right or wrong maybe she's never smoked weed in her life but the fact that you say that now this gets her more like interested because you see that's not just a logical boring interview question um that's like a an assumption you made about her now she wants to know why do you think i smoke weed or maybe she says yes i do and then you can connect on that you might say oh i smoke weed too or you might say oh we that's bad for you girl you know something like that then you can tease her on that or whatever or you might say well i don't smoke weed but i like psychedelics and then you can get into the conversation of psychedelics um like that and then see very quickly then you can go into like a deep territory rather than just ask her questions about like what do you do for work how old are you where'd you go to school stuff like that for example you can make assumptions about her what you think her major is like oh you look like you're a uh you're um you know a psychology major or you look like you you're uh a communications major or a philosophy major or whatever and you don't have to be right it doesn't matter whether you're right or wrong it's uh it's gonna be more interesting either way than asking questions so make sure that you're not being too logical but rather you're trying to be as emotional as possible with her communicate with her on an emotional level on a more intimate level if you're going to ask her questions ask her more interesting more intimate questions than questions like where do you work for example you can ask her the question of like what are you most passionate about in life see that that's a much more interesting question or what do you like most about yourself that's a much more interesting question like nobody in the last month has asked her that question you see and and then when she gives you some response you can take that response you can riff on it you can either tease based on it or you can actually learn something about her and kind of find a common connection between you two like maybe what she likes about herself is her generosity and then you might say oh that's interesting you know i find that same quality for example in my mother but the problem is that maybe she's too generous and then it feels like she's not doing enough for herself because she's being too selfish or selfless rather and then see and then and then the girl can say oh yeah i'm like that too right and then now you've got something to talk about that's not just some boring work topic next you want to start to flirt i'm giving you just broad strokes here i'm not going to tell you how to flirt exactly here you're going to have to learn that but you have to learn to flirt and you're going to have to exhibit some sexual intent and you do this through teasing you never say anything sexual per se but you tease her and you make her feel like this is not a business interaction this is not a friendly interaction you're not asking her for the directions to the nearest starbucks or to the restroom that's not what this conversation about this is the beginning of a dating opportunity here that needs to be very clear without actually saying that i want to date you you practice this more and you get better and better at communicating sexual intent a lot of sexual intention has to do with the eye contact and the frame that you're setting here uh for example you might you might throw out a line such as like oh you seem like a troublemaker you know she says something you're like oh i can tell you're gonna give me trouble see just by saying that already like who says that you you would never she would never hear that in a business conversation she would never hear that from her mother she's not gonna hear that from some guy selling her some product at the mall this is a this is this is obviously a sexual conversation although very subtly sexual it's like no you're a troublemaker and then just pause it like that and then move on to some other topic another thing that's very helpful here is act like you're above her so rather than putting her on a pedestal and assuming that she's the beautiful one and she's the prize when you're engaging with her be so confident now this this can come off a little bit narcissistic and egotistical but be so confident that you're just assuming that you're higher value than her which means like you are bringing the value you have a lot to offer here that means you don't have to talk very fast and you don't have to sell yourself to her by telling her all of the great things about you but rather you assume already that you're a very attractive highly valuable guy and that she's getting an opportunity to meet you even though you approached her that's the kind of frame you want to take so don't give all your power away don't overly compliment her give her one compliment if you say she's cute or she's beautiful or you found her attractive that's enough you don't need to keep fawning over like oh my god you're so beautiful it would be so amazing if i could date you please will you date me like no the frame needs to be that she would be lucky to date you even though you opened her and you're screening her rather than her screening you so when you're talking with her and finding out about her life and her career and what she's passionate about and all that you're suddenly screening her like you're judging her in the sense that like you know she might tell you that all uh i'm into meditation and then you ask her oh yeah what kind of meditation and then maybe she tells you like she's she's into something and then you're like oh okay and then but you're see you're evaluating like maybe she's meditating but she's a poor meditator and then you kind of subtly judge her for it and tease her it's like are you a good meditator or you just meditate and actually you're falling asleep when you meditate it's like i'm going to judge the quality of your meditation girl i'll teach you how to meditate see this this frame of like you're the guy you're the leader you know more than her you're more experienced than her that's the frame now at first you might have to fake it till you make it it might not be true at first but as you develop your game and you become very confident in yourself and also you develop your life as well and you gain more life experience it's actually going to become true that you're more experienced than her and you're a better leader than her and she has someone to look up to that's ultimately what the girl wants she wants to date a guy she can look up to who is confident assertive can lead her who is a little bit above her in value now next you want to keep the conversation going as long as possible keep talking and talking and talking make it as emotional as possible and keep it going as long as possible during the day it's probably not going to last more than 5 10 15 minutes at night it can last a lot longer keep plowing keep plowing the point is that you want to build a bond between each other the deeper the bond the more solid will be the phone number that you get at the end or the more likely she is to follow you if you're going to bounce her to some new location grab a drink with her the more likely she's going to be interested in that if your conversation is less than five minutes most likely your phone number is going to flake and she's not going to follow you anywhere and therefore it's not going to go anywhere it's to waste your time so you keep the conversation going as long as possible and then at the end as you're sensing that it's wrapping up or she tells you that you know i got to go i got a class i got to get to or i got to get to work or whatever then you push for first you try to do an instant date for a coffee or a drink if she has time you can convince her to go grab a coffee at the nearby starbucks and if you're like at a mall always know where the starbucks is because you're gonna try to walk her to the starbucks and continue talking to her sit down because if you can sit her down for a coffee at a starbucks at a mall you can talk with her for 20 30 minutes there and that's like a date almost you're doing an insta-date this is the ideal situation this is going to be your most solid chance for success with her but a lot of times girl will be busy she's not going to be interested in that she doesn't have time therefore you you grab a number take her number text her the next day and try to set something up the problem is that it's going to be very flaky you're going to have a very high flake rate from these numbers the flake rate is going to be probably over 70 percent that means 70 of girls simply won't respond to you the next day after you get their number and what that means is that you didn't build a deep enough connection you weren't emotional with her enough or sometimes you know you're just not her type she didn't find you attractive that happens too that's okay not every girl's gonna find you attractive um she might not have been single a lot one thing that i like to do during the daytime is i will explicitly ask a girl are you single and i will ask this within the first five minutes of the conversation because i don't want to waste my time a lot of times girls will have boyfriends and i want to know immediately if she's single then that's going to end the conversation right i mean if she's if she says she's not single that's going to end the conversation right there during the day uh if she says she's single then first of all that's very explicit like she knows exactly what you're interested in if you're asking that question second of all it gives you a sense of confidence to know explicitly that she's single now she can't give you a sort of a boyfriend excuse later because she already said she's single and then that sort of opens the door for you so don't be afraid to ask a girl if she's single or not you can do that within two minutes of meeting her and in fact i usually do that to save myself a lot of wasted time because sometimes what happens is you can talk to a girl for 15 minutes and at the end of it you ask for a phone number she's like oh sorry i have a boyfriend it's like but why the [ __ ] were you talking to me for 15 minutes clearly this was a dating opportunity situation this was not a you know a business conversation but sometimes girls will just forget to say they have a boyfriend because they don't want to upset you or they're afraid that it's gonna you're gonna get mad or something like that so just ask them if they're single so basically push for a coffee or a drink uh bounce her around if you can grab a phone number if you can and hey i mean you can even go for a pull which means you know you you you bounce her to for a drink then you take that date and you you convert into something else you can kind of stroll around the mall together you can do some window shopping together you can go to stores together and eventually you can invite her to your house that's a little bit difficult to do during the daytime it's easier during the night so that is basically how you do an approach and how you how you convert it into something uh like a dating situation now all of game can be summed up as follows approach be playful express your romantic desire so that she's clear about that so that you're not friend-zoned lead her towards a coffee a drink walking around getting an ice cream lead her bouncer to different places she has to get comfortable following you because eventually she has to follow you to your bedroom and stay with the girl whatever you do stay with the girl as long as possible now of course if she tells you to leave then you leave you're not going to be a creep who clings on if she's asking to leave but as long as she's not asking you to leave you stay with the girl as long as possible literally and this is a magic line this magic line will get you laid especially during night game the number one strategy for getting late at night is you find a girl you approach her you're play playful with her you express a little bit of your romantic intentions towards her you move around with her and then as she's you know going with her friends or she's going back home or whatever here's the magic line you tell her you say can i come with you wherever she's going you say can i come with you can i come with you she says she's going to meet her friends can i come with you she says they're going to get a drink can i come with you she says they're leaving the club can i come with you she said they're going to go uh grab some some food after the club can i come with you she says she's going home can i come with you she walks into her bedroom can i come with you because by the end of the night she's gonna wind up in bed she's gonna be in somebody's bed probably her bed and if you're in her bed when she's in her bed this is how you get laid it's not rocket science and usually what you'll find is that if a girl is interested in you a lot of times a girl will be interested in you but she's a little bit kind of like if she's interested but she's not going to work very hard to make something happen she's just interested but you're gonna have to handle all the logistics to make something happen and sometimes the easiest way to handle logistics is to simply ask can i come with you and just go wherever she's going and a lot of times she'll just say yes you can come with me it's like we're all getting drinks we're gonna take shots together with my friends great i'll come with you and i'll take a shot okay once that's done it's like okay now we're going for food great can i come with you for food i'll get some food too okay come on along because if she likes you she's gonna she's gonna want you to come along she's enjoying your company now of course this assumes she's enjoying your company now if she says no i don't like you then it's over right so obviously you're not trying to be so pushy that you're trying to do something against her will see the thing is that girls are not going to lead you to sex you have to lead them to sex and there's nothing wrong with that that can seem like it's kind of creepy but it's not creepy it's just that girls are not going to take responsibility for making things happen you have to do that as the man and like the easiest way to do that if you don't want to set up all the logistics yourself which you should try to do but if you're kind of lazy or she's not willing to come with you because she's not comfortable enough with you then just ask her can i come with you and a lot of times that will that will allow you to overcome many of the logistical hurdles okay so here's a sort of a high level structure of a successful pickup you approach directly and you grab her attention then you deliver your opener it doesn't matter what the opener is literally the opener can be something as stupid as i don't know i hate facebook that could be your opener i mean like experiment with stupid ridiculous nonsensical openers it doesn't matter what you open with because you need to teach yourself that the quality of your opener does not determine whether she's gonna like you get attracted to you or sleep with you stupid openers can work as well as very sophisticated elaborate openers in fact the more you overthink your opener the worse it's going to be the less natural it's going to be sometimes go out to the club and just try very stupid openers now during the daytime you don't want to use very stupid openers you just want to be more kind of casual and normal and chill and direct and just tell her you saw her and found her attractive that's enough for a day game opener during the night time you can experiment with some stupid obnoxious openers um man i mean i could tell you like really obnoxious openers that i've used and they've hooked really well so probably the most obnoxious opener i've ever done is actually like a ridiculous opinion opener but you have to understand i'm going to tell this to you right now but you have to understand that i was completely congruent and i was a very high energy state when i delivered this opener which is why it worked you would not want to try this if you're just a newbie and you're scared and you're not going to deliver this congruently so a lot of a lot of the power of the opener is how congruent you can deliver it so basically the opener that i used the most obnoxious one i used is something like there are two ladies sitting at the bar and i walk up to them and say hey ladies excuse me i need your opinion on something what's your opinion on glory holes are you for or against obnoxious ridiculous opener you would not normally want to use this but uh you want to experiment a little bit with some obnoxious openers just to see how far you can push it so now you might think like oh oh my god leo you this kind of opener surely they hated you no um that girl by the time i finished that opener and then five minutes of just plowing with funny [ __ ] that i said after the opener that girl was ready to go home with me and after five minutes that's how well that opener worked um but it you have to understand it wasn't the opener that did the magic it was the energy i brought into it how congruent i was this was towards the end of the night late in the night i've already done a bunch of approaches and i was just having fun i was really in a fun mood and i was i was just joking and after i delivered that opener just joke after joke after joke after joke after just plowing her with [ __ ] jokes right so what you don't want to do is just walk up cold to two girls sitting at a bar and like hey ladies what do you think about glory holes and then just dead silence and you don't follow up with anything else and you're not in a fun mood that's going to be ridiculously creepy and you'll get immediately blown out and maybe they'll even call security on you you don't want to do that um so it's not so much about the opener it's about the opener and then how you carry yourself after the opener you have to keep talking you don't just leave a dead silence after the opener you have to understand that after you open a girl she still doesn't know anything about you and she's not going to be carrying the conversation for you your responsibility after the opener is to carry the conversation like ninety percent ten percent maybe even ninety five percent five percent that means you're going to be talking 95 of the time she's gonna be listening and she'll be responding five percent of the time that's during the first few minutes of the interaction so it's not enough for you to have a great opener you got to follow that opener up with 95 other verbals to keep it going you're sort of jump starting her then once you jump start her and she she's attracted and she's interested and she's having fun then she'll start asking you questions she'll start telling you stories and then it'll become more of an even 50 50 conversation but don't expect her to carry the conversation in the first few minutes after you open her because she doesn't like look let's say you're walking down the street and i just stop you as a guy you're a guy and i'm a guy i just stop you and i say hey i really like your hair man it's cool and then i just dead silence like that's my opener and then dead silence and then i expect you to carry the conversation see it's not going to go anywhere you're not going to carry that conversation because you're not invested in me you don't know what i want you're doing your own thing in life i haven't done anything sufficiently to to grab your attention and to make you invested in a conversation so i would have to not just tell you like i have to do something like look i really like your hair and then you know oh i saw somebody else you know my friend has the same sort of haircut and then blah blah blah blah blah and i have to keep plowing and plowing and plowing and plowing for a few minutes and get you a little bit of a sense of who i am and where i'm coming from and what i'm interested in my passions are and so forth and then you could get invested if you are interested in this conversation you can invest you can start asking me questions and then it could even out to a 50 50 conversation and even then i could get you to start asking me and doing most of the talking but at the beginning of that i have to plow it's going to be 95 me talking so be prepared for that all of that is just to say that don't over emphasize the opener so continue on with the structure of a successful pickup so you approach directly grab your attention you do the opener then you do strong eye contact and you square up to her what does it mean square up to her it means that you're face to face rather than like let's say her face is pointing in this direction and you're setting like at an angle maybe like this or you're like this you want to be face to face and close to her right so you're squared up it's direct don't do indirect approaches where you're standing behind her shoulder somehow trying to talk to her because then she can just like it's kind of awkward for her to even have her face tilted over her shoulder listening to you because she's going to get tired she eventually she just move her face away from you and cut you off that way you want to be face to face with her looking her straight in the eyes and a lot of sexual intent can be communicated with your eye contact work on your eye contact next you want playful for flirtation with sexual intent but you don't want to make sex explicit so don't explicitly talk about sex just implicit another way to call this is to wear this is man woman interaction you want a man-woman interaction this is not a friend zone thing we're not friends we're not business colleagues this is man to woman you have to learn how to communicate man to woman immediately if you decide you're attracted to this woman and that's why you're approaching her make statements and do cold reads rather than asking questions plow plow plow keep talking keep talking keep talking and free associate free associate based on what she says riff back and forth with her she says something tease her about it riff on it free associate jump topics you don't need to carry a single logical thread through your conversation you can jump around you can say nonsensical things you can joke around it doesn't have to be like an interview in fact the less like an interview the better it is eventually you're going to reach hook point hook point is when you can clearly tell that the woman is attracted to you i'll talk more about what hook point is how it's reached and how to tell that you've reached it in part three of this series after hook point you wanna start to get serious about physical escalation physical escalation there's something called the kino escalation ladder you can research it you can download the pdf and read it basically there's a sort of a ladder of physical escalation that happens to get a woman comfortable with your physical touch so that it's not creepy learn how to physically escalate the the most basically the way it works that you start with the most innocuous non-sexual physical escalation and then you build up more and more and more towards more sexual things and this is also a great way to communicate um sexual intent without being explicit about it and it's a great way to heighten the man woman interaction so usually when i when i approach a girl i'll tap her on the shoulder like this this is sort of like the beginning of the physical escalation uh because it's it's the most non-sexual non-erotic part of her body people will tap each other on the shoulder frequently it has no sexual meaning usually and so that's a great way to get somebody's attention you can tap them on the shoulder like this or even when you're speaking with them you can put your hands on her shoulders like this but you don't want to keep them there you can kind of put them there for a few seconds take them off just get her comfortable with you touching your shoulders or touch one shoulder uh the other thing you can do is you can just poke her not in a creepy way but in a funny way like you say a joke and then she's laughing she's giggling and then you just poke her like this in the shoulder a little bit and then once you do that and she's comfortable with that and she you see she has a smile on her face then you can poke her in the in the belly for example um or poke her in the leg poke her in the thigh a little bit you know what's nice about a poke is that it's like boom in and out done she's not thinking about it you're not thinking about it um and then you can keep escalating more and more and more and then your your your physical touch becomes more erotic and more sexual as it goes on for example you can you can give her a hug you can give her a hug without saying so or you can ask her or you can just tell her i want to hug you like she says something like oh i want to hug you come here girl and then you just hug her and then let her go um usually when you start off you want the physical escalation to be very kind of quick in and out rather than letting it linger and then as you see that she's comfortable with it you can let it linger more now the key to physical escalation here's the magic key is that it needs to be calibrated to her mood and the way you tell her mood is by her face you watch her face as you do the physical escalation and you notice her reaction if she's smiling if she's giggling if she's laughing and you touch her and she's still doing that great that's a clear sign a clear green light that you can keep doing more if however she gives you a cold look if she's not holding eye contact with you if her mood changes to something negative then you know that you over escalated or that she's not comfortable with you or that you need to back off and make her more comfortable with you by talking with her and then try the escalation again and see if that's going to make her smile so basically you're not escalating in a way where you're trying to push yourself on her right definitely not if she's frowning then you're doing it wrong and then you don't escalate any further but if she's smiling push it see how far you can escalate so one of my favorite ways to escalate is to grab her by the hips pull her into me pull her hips into mine um grind her into me front to front uh and if she's smiling during all this great then you can rub her you know rub her sides rub her hips rub her legs rub her ass hold her ass grab her ass squeeze her ass if she's still smiling keep doing that um you can verbalize some of the stuff or not a lot of times i'll do this without even verbalizing it or you can you can ask her you can politely ask her like as you're for example holding your hips you can ask her politely can i squeeze your butt and a lot of times she'll say yes and then you do it of course if she says no then you don't do it um you can you can even ask like what i will often do is this is of course this very heavy physical escalation i'm talking about right now this is mostly night game not day game you're not going to be doing this kind of thing during during the day but at night game you can get very physical very quickly it'll it's shocking actually how fast you can do this within 30 seconds all this can be done within 30 seconds at night with the right girl um but of course it assumes she's attracted to you right so you have to reach hook point don't be grabbing her hips before reaching hook point that's going to be creepy so you you reach hook point here she's obviously attracted um you know a lot of times if i see a girl with amazing tits at night and you know i'm holding her by the hips uh we've reached we've reached hook point and i really like her tits i'll just be very authentic about it like you have amazing tits uh can i squeeze them and almost always they say yes you'd be amazed at how how rarely they say they say no and this gives you just a great excuse to physically escalate even even harder um of course you have to understand this is all being done with her permission whether explicit or implicit a lot of times it's just implicit and the way you understand that it's implicit permission is she's smiling right that means she likes it she might even say no but she's still smiling that means she still likes it she just doesn't want to come off too [ __ ] and that's all fine then you can back off a little bit and then try again in five minutes like that uh and then really the physical escalation can get really obnoxious like really obnoxious i could tell you stories about physical escalation that that would be so graphic that it would probably get me banned from youtube all with her permission right you have to understand all with her permission uh okay so you do some physical escalation then you build rapport you build rapport intimacy and emotional connection this is huge it's not enough just to physically arouse the woman and just to get her attracted that's the first step but then you gotta build rapport she has to know you and start to trust you she's not gonna sleep with you if she can't trust you if she's not comfortable with you she has to know about you you have to tell her about yourself your life your dreams your passions your your whatever whatever you're doing she has to be able to trust you share stories about your life ask her stories about her life build that intimate connection stick in the set as long as possible if this is night time try to make it go for an hour or two hours if you can next you're gonna have to start to think about handling logistics you have to figure out what is this girl doing where did she come from how did she get here who is she with what are her friends doing where is she going tomorrow does she have work tomorrow is she available tonight what are her plans tonight where is she staying what hotel what house does she have roommates all of these are known as logistics find out the logistics if you're trying to sleep with her that night so the way you do this is you just literally ask her logistics questions throughout the entire interaction and you can begin to do this rather quickly within the first five minutes so one of the common logistics questions that you ask first of all you ask who are your friends how do you know each other where are you staying are you a hotel are you a local how did you get here did you drive did your friends drive is there a car here did you take a taxi did you take an uber what are your plans later tonight are you hanging out with your friends are you free how long are you planning to stay out tonight till the very end are you leaving in five minutes where are you going where are your friends going do you have a roommate do you live alone figure all this out figure out whether it's easier to take her to your place or to go with her to her place be open to both possibilities depending on whatever is easiest so you should know all these things probably within 30 minutes of meeting her if you intend to make something happen that night and then as you find those things out you have to in your own mind kind of make some calculations as you're talking to her like okay so she's here with her friends her friends are all drunk and they're lost or maybe she's lonely she's by herself and she's she has no plans tomorrow she has no work tomorrow okay she's free she's available she likes me she got here by an uber that means we can take my car we can take an uber back to my place or whatever right you have to calculate all these things in your head as you're talking to her if you want to make something happen that night uh handling her friends is also going to be a significant chunk of the structure of a successful pickup here because most girls at night they go out with their friends chances are her friends are there a lot of times the friends don't want her to leave a lot of times the friends will want to party or do other things or create drama so you have to basically find out about her friend's situation befriend her friends don't ignore her friends uh but also don't waste too much time on her friends focus on the girl handle her friends and uh find a way to make it comfortable for her to leave her friends at the end of the night if that's what you want or if she refuses to then go with her and her friends because in the end you have to understand that at the end of the night she's probably going to be sleeping in a bed separate from her friends and all you gotta do is be in that bed now actually that's not always true a lot of times like example in vegas girls will actually stay in the same room or even sleep in the same bed if they're you know best friends or something they're going to share a hotel room this is a problem because you're not going to have sex with her if her friend is sleeping right next to you guys so find out if she's alone in her room or if there's friends sleeping in the same room because that does present a problem then you have to take her somewhere else so after all that you have to lead her you have to move her around and see if she's going to follow you and you begin just by moving her around the venue move her a couple of feet from the bar move her to the bar away from the bar move her to the dance floor dancing is a great way to get her to move around with you and to follow your lead dance in different parts of the club or the bar um go to the back go to the dark areas go to the front go to the outside areas if there's an outside area just basically bounce around move around and see is she comfortable following you because if she's not going to follow you then she's not going to follow you home and if she is comfortable following you then keep leading her further and further until eventually you get to your place bounce around to new locations so maybe from that bar bounce to a different bar if there's multiple bars on the same street bounce around to multiple this is going to make it feel like more of an adventure and more like you're not sticking around in the same place it's gonna make her feel more comfortable and familiar with you as you do that maybe after the bar bounce her to some taco stand get some tacos or get an ice cream or get a drink or get a coffee just bounce around if there's an after party go to an after party and then eventually you pull to your place or to her place once you pull her to your place or her place on the bed or on the couch you do more physical escalation more erotic physical escalation make out with her uh get into fingering her and then ultimately sex and that's that's how the whole process works from a sort of high level there's really three phases to this whole process there's the attraction phase there's building rapport and then there's the seduction phase so the attraction phase starts from your approach to hook point hook point is the point where you know she's attracted to you that means she's willing to sleep with you if she's comfortable with you and you are able to isolate her in a location where sex can happen so once you reach hook point after that and usually hook point only takes five minutes to reach then the rapport phase in the report phase you need to make her comfortable with you you need to make her feel like she knows you and that she can trust you and that you're not some dangerous guy or some weirdo the rapport phase can last 30 minutes to an hour to two hours this is almost like what you would be doing on a date really getting to know each other at a deep level so that's the report phase and then once that is done now she trusts you she's attracted to you the only thing that's preventing you from sleeping with her is the fact that you two are not isolated in a room together and you haven't sexually aroused her enough yet so isolate her in a room that's going to be a challenge that's where all the logistics stuff comes in isolate her in a room by herself with you and then begin the seduction and actually that's the easiest part is once you isolated her the seduction usually is the easiest part now sometimes what happens is that you isolate her you begin your seduction and then she gives you last minute resistance which means that she says oh i don't want to have sex with you i barely know you and blah blah blah blah i don't feel comfortable what this means is that you didn't build enough rapport earlier you have to go back and build more rapport if you build enough rapport then she's not going to say those things to you she'll be willing to have sex with you on the other hand if all you do is you build rapport but you skip the first attraction phase what's gonna happen is that she's gonna friend zone you building rapport is like becoming deep friends but there's not the raw sexual attraction so it's a good idea to to do these in the right order first five minutes of an interaction is attraction get her attracted that eliminates the possibility of any kind of friend zone then spend the next hour or two building rapport then after that spend all your time trying to isolate her from her friends and so forth and then you can seduce her and she will be happy to sleep with you now sometimes what happens is that these these will actually the order of these phases will actually kind of get inverted and twisted and this can actually trip you up and cause problems but it can also work as well for example i've had it like recently i was at a club on halloween and this girl like it just immediately hooked immediately hooked like raw um sexual attraction like within seconds right and she was dancing with me i was dancing with her and we were like moving around the club and we went to the dance floor like within a minute she started grinding on me she was grinding on my dick for like 30 [ __ ] minutes like crazy attraction crazy physical escalation very very fast it was completely on um she was very turned on she was very horny i was very turned on as well like everything was going good and then i basically tell her let's get out of here um follow me and she's like okay let's go and so i walk her out of the club walk her to my car but the problem is she didn't even know my name uh it it just went so hot and heavy so much physical escalation so much attraction right off the bat that we didn't have any time for rapport because it's a very loud club on the dance floor you can't even talk so the mistake that i made there is that after all the dancing and grinding and [ __ ] i should have realized that the stages were sort of inverted the faces were inverted here that we we missed the rapport uh stage i sort of went straight to seduction on the dance floor skipping rapport and then try to pull her and it didn't work she didn't she ended up coming home with me and the reason that happened is because what i should have done is after all the dancing and grinding i should have taken her to a quiet place in the club sat her down and just built rapport for 30 60 minutes and then she would have trusted me enough to come home with me um but you know what sometimes you can literally pull a girl in five minutes sometimes the raw attraction is strong enough she's down enough that she'll just come home with you without even building any rapport without even knowing your name that's happened to me as well um literally five minutes uh you can pull a girl in five minutes i've done that um but generally speaking that's not a solid strategy uh it's that's not going to be consistent what you want is you want to build your game consistently rather than just depending on you know fluke luck or hail mary's that you know occasionally land in your lap all right so here are the top things that you want to learn in field this is a list write all this stuff down and basically as you're going to be going out you're going to sort of have to check off each item on the list and start to get experience with it specifically you're going to be like training these are like isolation training exercises for you so first of all approaching without excuses and man you have so many excuses for why you don't approach girls so you got to be able to train yourself to approach without any excuses secondly is a strong direct approach no meek approaches no half-ass approaches if you decide to approach a girl you're approaching her you're grabbing her attention she has to hear you she has to give you her full attention so do that go spend a week or a month just practicing strong approaches with no excuses next is squaring up to her face to face this is part of what a strong approach is don't be talking over her shoulder or behind her back square up to her full attention on you next work on strong eye contact laser strong eye contact unwavering eye contact uncomfortable eye contact your eye contact should be so strong and so sexual she should be looking away from you because she can't hold that much sexual eye contact with you practice that for a month next is smile practice smiling when you open this is huge it's a it's a disarming mechanism because if you're not smiling she doesn't know you might be a [ __ ] rapist or a serial killer next is when you're speaking to her especially when you open firm vocal tone and be loud so she can hear you enunciate clearly don't whisper don't mumble don't babble very firm and also don't supplicate don't be like hi nice to meet you do you want to date me not like that it's like hey i wanted to meet you i think you're beautiful like that like firm strong clear assertive practice that for a month also practice slowing down your speech and your movements when you're anxious and nervous especially as a newbie and you're opening a girl you're going to want to tend to talk very fast and slur your words and mumble and bumble and move frenetically like this practice going out for a month or for a week and just opening slowly allowing space and room and silence pauses between when you get her attention like hey i wanted to meet you i think you're beautiful you see those pauses those are very important instead of saying like hey i wanted to meet you i think you're beautiful that doesn't let her register all that also those pauses are necessary so that you can react to what she is feeling and thinking and saying because you might say hey and then she might not yet have given you her full attention then you have to wait it's like hey she's talking to a friend hey tap her on the shoulder hey get her full attention that might take you 10 seconds to do once you have her attention then you say you know i wanted to talk to you and then she gives you more attention and then you say i think you're beautiful and then you listen and and look at her face how is she reacting to what you just said and then you riff on that and you improvise based on that this is all extremely improvisational you see so slow down your speech and your movements so that you're like you're not flowing like water you're like a rich thick maple syrup or honey that is slowly pouring onto the girl that's how you want your speech to be also work on being very relaxed and present present with her experiencing her rather than stuck in your head thinking about what to say next and you got to really relax you got to be comfortable in your own skin especially when you're at these very loud nightclubs one of the most challenging things about loud nightclubs like in vegas here is that they just blast you with ear splitting music and everybody is in this high energy state and you just don't feel comfortable you can barely hear yourself thinking sometimes in these clubs and so what you have to do is you just just stand there for 10 minutes in a club and just absorb the energy let it fill you up become comfortable you have to be so comfortable in that environment that can be difficult for us introverts because we don't like that very high stimulation but you can train yourself to get much better at that i've been forced to here in vegas because we've got some really obnoxious clubs but then actually you can use that to your advantage because those obnoxious clubs then allow you to escalate very very quickly that's the beauty of them that's why they're they're so loud to begin with um other things for you to learn in field be positive be playful and self-amusing have fun be there to have fun first and foremost you got to be having fun if you're having fun she'll start having fun with you don't take any of this too seriously make jokes entertain yourself while you're there entertain yourself more than you're entertaining the girl the next step that you want to work on is building state building state means putting yourself into this this fun relaxed very social state it's almost like getting drunk but you're not drinking the way you build your state is by approaching approaching approaching approaching getting blowouts having successes it doesn't really matter whether you have a success or a blowout it's going to keep building your state the way that you fail to build state is by getting in your head and not doing approaches and then getting more and more in your head or if if you get blown out then getting in your head and not doing more approaches building state is crucial you want to make you want to get to a point where you're able to build your state every night you go out with a few approaches a few warm-ups and then you're in state and then from that state that's when your best approaches will happen it's very hard to to have greater approaches unless you're in state um and especially the way that i do it i i all the nights that i've gone out hundreds of nights that i've gone out thousands of girls that i've talked to over years i haven't had a single drink so when i go out to the loudest clubs and i have the most fun i don't drink at all i'm completely sober and that's what i recommend for you don't drink build your state sober and what happens is that you'll realize that you can build your state so well you can get so good at building your state without drinking that you can literally have more funds sober than most people in the club have when they're drunk and in addition to that you'll have your full wits about you and it's the best of both worlds and also you're not destroying your liver and your health and you're not wasting a bunch of money on drinks every drink in vegas cost like 25 i've spent thousands i've i've i've saved thousands of dollars of not buying a single drink a lot of times i have so much fun and i'm in such a good state in the club not always but on on many nights that girls actually won't believe me when i say that i don't drink in fact that girl on halloween um when i was when i was pulling her to my car um she told me we can't go in your car you're drunk and i said i don't drink and this hurt this um sometimes you know sometimes this this so shocks girls because they expect you just to be drinking that they don't act they literally don't believe me uh this is actually a great thing you want to have so much fun at the club that people think you're drunk but you're not actually drunk this means you're doing it exactly right now you're not a build state uh the next thing you want to work on is sexual intent and man-to-woman interaction make sure that within five minutes of talking to a woman it's clear to her that you're talking to her in a man-to-woman way with sexual intent then if you can do this you'll never get friend zone ever again the next thing to practice is physical escalation and the kino escalation ladder go research that and read it and practice it i spent an entire month or two when i first started gaming where i would go out for an entire month and all i did was just work on physical escalation i would try to escalate as quickly as possible i did that in vegas i did a 30-day challenge in vegas back in like in 2013 where i just learned really solid physical escalation game and to this day i have really good uh physical escalation game it's my favorite way a lot of times to open especially in loud clubs physical escalation tends to be very polarizing it either hooks immediately or the girl just rejects you this is this is actually kind of good because you can quickly go through 10 girls eight of them will reject you no problem and then two of them will hook really hard and then you clearly know that it's on whereas with verbal games sometimes it's a little bit you're kind of in the gray zone you don't really know what's happening of course the downside here is that you are forcing her to basically decide immediately whether she is uh attracted to you and sometimes a girl will reject you just because you sort of you go in too hard and too fast where if you did some kind of slower more indirect verbal game over 10 20 minutes then maybe she would open up to you more but he or she rejects you um so you do lose more girls with physical escalation if you do it right off the bat but that's one of my favorite ways to open i just enjoy it like i found that um you know going back to that point about finding your authentic style for me my ethnic style is that i love to do physical escalation especially when i'm really genuinely attracted to a girl i just immediately want to get very physically touchy with her and since that's authentic to me it tends to work really well if i'm in that mood and i really find her attractive now if i don't find her attractive then physical escalation doesn't work so well because it's not congruent so congruency here is a very important principle we'll be talking about that more in part three the next thing you want to work on is asking screening questions and handling logistics so get good at asking logistics questions where are you from how do you know your friends where are your friends what are your plans where are you staying what hotel what do you live alone blah blah ask all those questions get good and just instinctive about asking all those questions as you're flirting with her you you sprinkle them in throughout the conversation over the course of you know 20 30 minutes you don't ask them all back to back that would be too awkward um and all you'd be surprised i remember when i first learned this idea of of logistics questions i was like wait a minute you can girls will answer these questions for you doesn't that is that kind of weird why would she answer these questions um that was my first sort of doubt about that and then when i actually started practicing it i realized that there's like never been a single girl who has not answered my logistics questions ever like girls answer logistics questions so easily uh it's not even a problem [Music] the next thing you want to work on is flirting small talk and not running out of things to say this is a huge topic i'll cover this in part three more i'll give you a whole section about how to not run out of things to say the next thing you want to work on is not asking boring questions instead making statements cold reading making observations about her observational openers are really good observation while you're talking to her is really good to keep the conversation going the next thing you want to work on is being emotional rather than logical that means being dramatic expressing negative emotions if she tells you something you don't like react with negative emotions like i don't like that it's like what do you like oh you like like oh you're from you're from alabama i don't like alabama alabama's stupid something like that you know express negative emotion you don't have to always be positive with a girl sometimes exaggerate your expressions and be hyperbolic you know sometimes she says something it's not like i'm i hate that thing but i'll play it up a little bit like oh i really hate that thing it's like you voted for trump i [ __ ] hate you you know something like but it's it's done in a playful way i don't really hate her it's just we're playing we're teasing we're flirting um experiment with push pull challenge her be challenging don't just be a pushover be challenging if she says something you know tease her on it another thing to work on is talking about yourself us introverts we suck at this we suck at talking about ourselves we think it's egotistical or narcissistic or that nobody would want to hear but really the secret to extroverted conversation is that extroverts have no filters and they talk about themselves endlessly that's their secret so you got to learn to be like an extrovert and just talk about yourself talk about what you ate today talk about your job talk about your career talk about your dreams talk about your future talk about where you're going for vacation next month talk about your spirituality talk about your psychedelic experience just like talk about yourself this will fill up a lot of room and time in the conversation and also she gets to learn about you as you're talking about yourself and then she can get interested like you might start talking about how you're gonna go do some meditation retreat next month in hawaii and she might be interested in that and learning more about that she'll start asking you questions but if you don't tell her that she won't know how to ask you about it she's not going to ask you like oh are you meditating next month are you taking a vacation next month she doesn't know she can only know these things and she can get a sense of what questions to ask if you plow her with some stories about your life and what you're doing next work on charisma become more charismatic become more expressive with your face with your voice with your hand gestures charisma you could there are entire courses online you can take about charisma entire youtube channels about how to develop charisma entire books have been written about how to deal charisma practice that next practice improvisation and free association so when she tells you something you free associate off of that you know she might tell you that she went on a walk with her dog and then you hear the word dog and then you think about hot dogs now you start talking about hot dogs that's free association see it's not a direct logical connection to go from a dog to a hot dog and then we're talking about hot dogs i can think about that and i can think about some sort of movie that involves hot dogs see and then we we leap now we start talking about movies as we're talking about movies we might talk about star wars and then we're talking about stars and we're talking about astronomy and as we're talking about astronomy we're talking about black holes and we're talking about black holes we might talk about um you know racism black racism we start talking about that and then we're talking about racism then we start talking about trump and then we're talking we're talking about trump and then we're whatever and then like see you develop this giant threat of conversations from doing free association rather than staying on a single thread and you can also multi-thread conversations so you're not just talking about one thing at a time but you're talking about you know one thing and then you jump to a different thread then you jump back to the old thread and this way you have multiple threads running practice that practice self-deprecating humor rather than trying to brag to her you know disqualify yourself and tell her like all how horrible you are that that flips the script um next work on not saying anything sexually explicit so when i first started game i was a bit obnoxious and sometimes i would sprinkle sexually explicit things into a conversation and what i found is that usually this blew me out and it ruined the mood one of the things that makes girls immediately repulsed by you is being overly sexually explicit and vulgar so just don't go there don't make rape jokes don't talk about how you're gonna have sex with her don't talk about who you had sex with like this sort of stuff this is generally not good don't don't talk about glory holes don't talk about porn like just stay away from these topics they're not necessary the next thing to practice is not bragging and not trying to impress her if you have an instinct for doing this stop doing it stop talking about how rich you are what kind of car you have what kind of house you have this is not necessary in fact go back and practice the self-deprecating humor instead next practice dealing with her friends get good at befriending her friends one of the best ways to do this is if you see a friend give a compliment to the friend like oh i like your purse i like your dress i like your earrings i like your necklace i like your hair you seem like a fun fun friend you seem like you're a good friend you seem like you're a good friend to her find out a little bit about the friends find out their names find out what they do how they know each other talk with them a little bit then get back to your girl so that your friends her friends see you as a cool guy not some weird rapey creepy guy then they're much more likely to let her go with you at the end of the night if her friends don't know anything about you they're gonna [ __ ] block you at the end of the night and you're gonna lose your girl to her to your to her friends the next thing to practice is not ejecting from set stick in the set to the bitter end stay in there if she's if she says she wants to go get a drink stay with her if she says she needs to go find her friends stay with her if she says she's leaving the club stay with her as long as she's okay with it um a lot of times you know a big thing that i struggled with is i would talk to a girl for five ten minutes then i would try to grab a number and run out of the set as quickly as possible because i was afraid i was going to screw it up or that i was going to rise things to say like no plow that set to set to the bitter end practice number closing get get smooth at asking for her number such that you're not hesitating and you're not fearful it's like hey girl i want your number give me your number i'm going to see you again like that whatever have her punch the number into your phone always get her number don't give your number to her get her number always um practice insta-dates especially if you're doing day game before you ask for the number first try for an insta-date so you're talking to her with her for 10 minutes everything's going great then you say hey there's a starbucks over here it's just a a couple hundred feet uh you know down this way let's go over there grab a coffee we'll keep talking see if she bites uh try to get her interested in that if she says no i gotta go then you get a number but don't ask for a number first before you try to instigate insta dates are crucial for day game next you gotta work on leading moving and bouncing around don't just stand in one place at the bar where you opened her and just talk for two hours and not move that's stupid you talk to her for 10 minutes then you move her two feet talk to her for 10 more minutes then you move her to the other side of the bar talk to her for 10 more minutes then you move her to a different bar or dif you know usually a bar will have multiple bars in the same building go there and just keep moving her around like that get her comfortable with that get comfortable yourself with leading her get comfortable bouncing to different locations get comfortable bouncing from a bar to food from food to the park from the park to your place and so forth another thing to practice is managing your own mood and self-doubt a lot of times you'll go out and sometimes you'll be in a good mood other times you'll be in a bad mood you won't even want to talk to girls but you have to do it anyways you have to put yourself into a positive mood sometimes you're going to be depressed sometimes you're going to be heartbroken sometimes i would go to a club and i would be heartbroken because some girl broke up with me the other day or because um [Music] or i would be depressed because of some other thing that was happening in my life or something else was on my mind some business problems so forth you gotta manage your own mood get all that [ __ ] out of your mind get all the self-doubt out of your mind or sometimes i would just be in a deep self-doubt where i would be thinking like well you know i've been going out for the last week and i haven't been having any great results and now i feel bad and i'm doubting myself maybe i'm not attractive anymore maybe i'm getting too old maybe whatever maybe i'm not a uh maybe girls don't like me as much as i thought i did maybe this whole thing is not gonna work maybe pick up doesn't even work maybe it's all scam right you get it these self-doubts you have to be able to manage these remove them from your mind put yourself into a positive mood and go approach so learn to do that the next item on the list is building rapport intimacy get good at this remember to do this even if the girl likes you even if she makes out with you let's say you're walking through the club and a girl just jumps on you jumps in your lap starts making out with you and grabbing your dick this will happen if you go out to clubs enough and then you're thinking okay awesome this is amazing let's pull her home no go build some rapport and some intimacy find out something about her share something about yourself share life stories share your passions find out about her as a person then pull her have some stories in your own life that you're good at telling you have stories stuff that has happened to you crazy stuff interesting stuff scary stuff fun stuff adventurous stuff you've done have some of those stories in the back your mind and get experience sharing those stories with people this reveals stuff about you try to find stories that reveal things about your character and who you are authentically i'm not talking about fake stories i'm talking about real stories from your life like maybe you know i could tell you a story like back when i lived in dallas in the middle of winter i saw a little dog a little stray dog in the middle of like a cold ass winter just like shivering under my car and uh i saw this dog and it was i immediately realized this dog a homeless dog in the middle of winter it's gonna die out here so cold like below zero it's gonna die out here no food um no warmth so i caught the dog under my car and brought it into into my apartment and then tried to you know feed the dog and all this sort of stuff i can go to a whole story about that and eventually we found we couldn't find the dog's owner the dog didn't have any tags but eventually my neighbor saw that i took in this dog i didn't even know how to take care of dogs it was the only dog i ever took care of my neighbor gave me some dog food i fed her i felt i mean i fed the dog and um and then eventually we found a new owner for the dog to adopt the dog right so like a story like that that tells you something about my personality tells you that i'm compassionate that i care about animals blah blah blah blah something like that you tell a story like this to a girl now she knows something about you she can trust you now now i didn't make that story up that actually happened so have some of those those those stories have happened to you in your own life it's just that a lot of times you you forget about them and then you don't actually talk about them with new people that you meet because you're too in your head and you forget about those stories or maybe you think those stories aren't interesting i mean this story about this dog is not particularly interesting but it does tell you something about my character and you feel like now you know me a little better than you used to the next thing you want to practice is getting good at dealing with [ __ ] tests the more attractive the girl the more she's going to should test you what a [ __ ] test is is basically she's testing you for congruence and for the strength of your frame so when you come up to a girl and you're all confident you have a loud voice and you're assertive and you're flirting and you're doing all this and you're telling her all these stories about yourself and you're you're presenting yourself as this cool high status high value guy okay but what if you're faking it what if you're lying what if you're putting on a front and actually you're this shy scared guy who's just puffing himself up like a strong guy see the girl needs to test for that and so subconsciously she has ways of testing you um i'll give you a story about probably the strongest [ __ ] test that i've faced which was actually with one of the most attractive girls that i ever cold approached so this ridiculously attractive girl like a she was basically like a nude model um i saw her sitting at a chipotle style fast food place i walk in there to get my mexican food this was some years ago and she was there it was it was dead quiet it was only her and me she was getting her food she was about to sit down i see her she's like in her sweatpants and sweatshirt from the gym she just came out of the gym uh getting her mexican food and i can just tell that like she's ridiculously attractive even through all the sweatpants all that [ __ ] i can just see it i'm like god damn i gotta open this girl this is like amazing you don't usually see a girl like this out of chipotle um so i get my food i'm thinking like how do i open this girl she's sitting there at a little circular table just eating her food so i say [ __ ] it i'm just gonna go and sit down so i just sit down right across from her at her little table this kind of shocks her i just sit down start eating my food and start talking about myself just as though you know very casually as though nothing is happening i just start talking about myself um i talk and talk and talk eventually she gets a little interested starts asking me some questions and so forth i mean clearly it's obvious to her that i'm hitting on her um it was a very ballsy approach to do um i almost didn't do it but i did and then but but she was very attractive and she was very very entitled and clearly you know a lot of guys hit on her and so she started [ __ ] testing me she was her ethnicity was half she was mixed raised she was half thai half german very interesting mix uh so we started talking about thailand and so forth and we started talking about this this in thailand they have this notion called ladyboys which are like i guess they're thai boys who turn themselves into girls basically trans trans folk so basically they look like girls but they have dicks so we started talking about that and she said that basically the point was that she said that she was one of these lady boys and actually she had a dick she said it so convincingly that for a minute she almost convinced me that maybe it's true and it phased me because when i sat down i was very confident i was talking very confident and then she sort of like threw this monkey wrench into my game and i'm sitting there and i'm thinking to myself like i didn't really express this externally but internally as she's telling me this i'm i'm thinking like is she for real or not and i wasn't sure and it sort of like threw me off my game and it made me um like waver in my confidence and but eventually i i concluded to myself that this is a [ __ ] test and and so you know she started talking about her dick and i and the way i passed the [ __ ] test was i said don't worry girl i i love dick i'm gonna love your dick anyways all right and and just continue continue running my game and it worked great eventually she asked me for my number so that's how that went um so yeah girls will should test you like this they're trying to see like how much they're able to unground you and if they can unground you then they realize oh he's just sort of like a weak man posing as a strong guy and then they lose attraction but if they try to like unground you and they see that you're stable you're like a rock then this actually makes her feel comfortable and secure around you and that's what the feminine wants from the masculine the next thing to work on is handling [ __ ] excuses and token resistance a lot of times girls will send mixed signals and will give you token resistance and token nose like um you know you you lean in to kiss her and she smiles and just kind of like coily pushes you away now she's not rejecting you per se she's just like not ready and she's giving you some token resistance this doesn't mean she doesn't want to be kissed she doesn't want to be kissed but you try again in five minutes or she can give you [ __ ] excuses about why she has to go like she has to go to work she has to go to a class in five minutes it's a lot of times that's just [ __ ] now sometimes she doesn't have to go or sometimes she has a legitimate excuse she has to go to work or whatever um but a lot of times their excuses are [ __ ] uh so just one very pointed example for you uh a wingman of mine who's quite good here in vegas he just told me this story recently so so he he opened this girl in vegas talking to her she's really into him everything is going great uh clearly it's on and this girl just keeps telling him you know after like an hour of talking and like we're not having sex tonight we're not having sex and she just keeps telling him this like three times three times in the night she she told them we're not having sex and he's like okay girl i'm not even trying like okay we're not having sex eventually though they wind up at his place and they're on the couch and they're making out and all that and the girl just sort of like shoves them and says why haven't you [ __ ] me yet and this is a very experienced wing of mine this guy has thousands of approaches under his belt like extremely experienced but even he was taken aback by this because like girl why are you sending me these [ __ ] mixed signals you told me three times we're not having sex tonight and now at the very end of the night you're upset at me that i haven't [ __ ] you already of course guys are confused by this so girls will play these games with you now does this mean that if a girl tells you we're not having sex tonight that she's always lying to you no sometimes she really means it so it can be difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff so it takes a lot of experience to learn what are the legitimate concerns that a woman has in sleeping with you and what is the [ __ ] there's a lot of [ __ ] with women because they don't want to come off as [ __ ] not in their own minds they don't want to think of themselves as [ __ ] but also they don't want to look like [ __ ] in front of all their friends so they come up with stories and excuses for why they can't come home with you and blah blah blah blah with all that being said ultimately if at the end of the night if she says i don't want to have sex with you and she says it in a firm tone then don't have sex with her i'm not telling you to to rape women here or to force them into anything that they don't want to do it's just that women aren't always honest with themselves about all the [ __ ] and excuses they make up when they're dating guys and actually interested in sleeping with guys but they can't be explicit about it so this is something you'll learn as you get more experience with women is that there's a lot of [ __ ] and games that women play it's not just guys that are playing games in fact if women didn't play games guys wouldn't need to learn game the reason guys need to learn game is because the reality is for most of us guys look you think we like all this game stuff we don't if i had it my way i would see an attractive woman and i would just walk up there and say hey you know what i like you let's [ __ ] that would be the simplest most authentic most honest most truthful way of communicating my experience and what i actually feel for her but see if you tell that to a woman you're never going to get laid in your entire life you can't walk up to a woman and just say hey i like you let's [ __ ] even though that's authentically what us guys oftentimes think so we have to play games the way the reason we have to play games is because they want us to play games because sex is taboo and you can't be explicit about it and if you tell that to a woman she's gonna think you're a creep does that actually make you a creep no it just makes you a [ __ ] uh an honest guy honestly us guys within three seconds we know if we want to have sex with you that's just the truth um but we can't be honest about that because if we were we would never get laid so yeah it's a game it's called a game it's called game for a reason because both sides play games who plays more games well i'm not going to get into that you also want to learn some text game i can't get into that it's going to take too long you want to learn how to set up proper dates that might be a separate video on itself you want to learn how to complement women basically when it comes to complementing women i give compliments very rarely and when you compliment a woman try to compliment her on anything other than her physical appearance or her sexiness because this is too obvious try to compliment her on her personality thinks you like things about you like about her spirit her soul these sorts of more deeper compliments maybe her style her dress these are all better than just saying hey i love your tits or i love your ass don't that's that's not a that's not a that's not a good compliment and uh and lastly work on telling her why you like her and why she's special so this is huge for getting a girl to sleep with you for a girl to want to sleep with you she has to feel like she's special to you and not just like any other girl or that you're just using her body to gratify yourself so for you to genuinely be able to tell her why you like her you have to find out some stuff about her and make a mental list as you're getting to know her about the stuff that you really like and also have a list yourself as things you like in a girl for example i like it when girls um love animals i find that adorable so if i find out that a girl likes animals that makes me like her more i like girls for example who are into psychedelics if i find out that a girl likes psychedelics i'm much more interested in her i like it when when a girl is very open-minded obviously because i'm very open-minded i like it when a girl is into spirituality and meditation and understands things about love and god and so forth you know it's kind of stuff that i teach i like it when a girl is into eating healthy i like it when a girl is into personal development right so these are some just a little bit of some of the list of the things that i like in a girl personality wise and so if i find out that the girl hits any of these points i want to make sure that i i reflect that back to her to say i really like these things about you and then when she hears that then now she feels like we have more going on here than just me wanting her for her body and then she's much more willing to have sex all right so that's a lot of stuff that i just gave you that long list of stuff it's going to take you years to practice all of those in isolation and to dial in all those aspects of your game don't worry don't get too overwhelmed by this so you don't need to you don't need to be able to execute on all of those points in order to have good game and to get results and in fact don't be thinking about all those points when you're going out at night you can't learn all of that at once so here i'm going to give you a shorter list of just the basics to start with here are the basics the most pare down list of what you need to do to get some results to get started as a newbie so number one find clubs bars and malls to go to that are good for approaching number two go out actually go out number three approach consistently get over your approach anxiety bust through it and build state number four do a solid direct approach no meek half-ass approaches number five work on strong eye contact squaring up smiling and strong firm assertive voice number six be positive and put yourself into a happy mood as you're talking to girls number seven keep talking keep plowing flirting and do not eject from the set early keep talking until she blows you out until she tells you to leave and finally always try to end the interaction with an insta-date a phone number or bouncing her to some new location this this is a small list this is a much shorter list this is what you got to focus on as a newbie to get started these are the the fundamentals everything else is like filling in the details getting a little bit more technical and you know perfecting various aspects of that but this is the core this is like the 80 percent uh this is rather the twenty percent that's going to get you the eighty percent of the results here now of course as a newbie you're starting this one of the biggest questions you're gonna have is leo how do i deal with approach anxiety i'm too scared to approach is there a magic pill to get rid of my approach anxiety well there isn't the only way to get rid of approach anxiety is to approach you feel the fear and you do it anyways and you keep doing it doing it doing it doing it all night long until you get 20 approaches or 30 approaches into the night after about 10 approaches the approach anxiety should go away as you gain state it doesn't matter if it's a successful approach or a failed approach you will still gain state and the approach anxiety will go away and then the next night the approach anxiety will be back and you have to do it all over again and you do this night after night after night after night after night after night after night hundreds and thousands of times i've done thousands of approaches and if i go out tonight i'm still going to have some approach anxiety the first few girls that i talk to because i'm not going to be in state i'm going to be in a logical mood and it's just gonna be there so the approach anxiety doesn't really go away you just you just sort of stop taking it seriously and you learn to just act despite whatever anxiety you have this is how it tends to work there's no magic solution there's there's nothing you can do to to get rid of your approach anxiety forever and now you can approach any girl without any hesitation and no fear and no anxiety no there's no such thing you do it despite your fear it takes a lot of practice you will get a lot of rejections and you will have to face the emotional pain of rejection now most of the times the rejections are rather innocent it's like the girl will just wait hand-wave you away or she'll just turn her back on you or she'll just give you sort of a face like this and reject you that way in the end these rejections are meaningless they have no substance to them but they don't really matter um but still some nights you know you might get rejected 10 times in a row and you might feel like you have a shitty night and there's going to be a sort of a self-doubt there an emotional pain maybe you're going to start to get in your head about how you're not attractive you're too bald you're too fat you're too short or whatever and you think that that's why these girls are rejecting you we have to remember that some nights are just going to be bad nights and some nights are going to be good nights and you should expect that about one-third of girls will hate you if you're doing this right one-third of girls will be neutral to you and just kind of be friendly and then one-third of girls will love you roughly that's how it's gonna break down now why will one-third of girls hate you well because you're bringing out if you're doing this correctly you're bringing out your authentic personality and your authentic personality it's coming out strong and clear and sharp and your authentic personality is not for every girl about a third of girls will just not find your type of personality very appealing they won't like your energy they won't like your mood they won't like your sense of humor whatever fine that's fine that's good you don't you don't want 100 of girls to love you you also don't want 100 of girls to be friendly to you because that means you're not being sharp enough with the delivery of your personality and also you're not you're not being sexual and intentful enough if 100 of girls are just friendly towards you this is actually a problem because it means that you're not being direct enough and you're not you're not being polarizing enough you want to be polarizing enough where you're sorting the wheat from the chaff and you're forcing the girl to make a decision about whether she is willing to sleep with you and maybe about a third of them will be if you follow it up and do everything else correctly no which of course you won't you're going to screw up the logistics many times so in reality you won't sleep with a third of the girls you talk to but at least that the other girls you talk to should be fairly romantically receptive to you and get attracted to let's say so when you go out and you experience these rejections um focus on the small successes rather than focusing on how one-third of girls rejected you or hated you focus on the one-third that loved you and that hooked and that were attracted and were willing to sleep with you even if they didn't so a lot of times you'll see a girl get attracted to you but she won't sleep with you for many stupid logistical reasons she has work tomorrow her friends took her away whatever so at the end of the night focus on the girls that hooked and realized that all those girls would have slept with you if a little bit of more time was possible and maybe the logistics were better and her friends weren't in the way and her car wasn't whatever in a problem and so forth that should give you a self-esteem boost that you know tonight two or three girls would have slept with me that's great focus on that rather than the other 10 girls that didn't like you or didn't want to talk to you or whatever remember that it's not your goal to get every girl to love you it's your goal to actually be polarizing and to get a handful of girls to really really get attracted to you that's your goal and get used to having massive failure you're going to have a lot of failure in this process failure is how you learn there's going to be a lot of interactions that are going well then you screw it up because you say something wrong or you do something wrong or you escalate something wrong or you try to bounce her and it fails or whatever she should test you and you fail that's how you learn commit to doing at least a thousand approaches before you quit you got to really hang in there and be persistent massive persistence is key here also what's key is finding some good wingmen this is crucial for emotional support the wingmen are not so much there to help you pull although they could be but the wingmen are there to give you camaraderie so that you don't feel all alone in the club or in the bar and even when you get blown out or you have a bad night the wingman is there for emotional support you can chat with the wingman you can [ __ ] talk with them you can just have you can have a lot of fun just with your wingman you can have more fun with your women than with your girls you can transfer that fun you're having with your wingmen into the interactions with the girls now some nights will be absolutely brutal some nights you will walk home crying i had a few nights where i would literally drive home crying in my car when i first started game because it was that brutally difficult because i was just so hopeless i thought it would never work i was so bad at it my skills were so bad that i thought this was never going to work and if this isn't work what will work nothing will work if does this if this doesn't get me laid nothing will get me laid so you start to lose hope it becomes very emotionally challenging some nights what you have to remember is to stick in there and that no one night defines this process for you remember that you're not doing this for the sex you have to have a larger vision than just sex or just even girls you have to have a large positive vision that will keep you going out consistently what is your large vision well your large vision is that you're going to grow yourself into this strong man you're going to develop amazing game you're going to become charismatic you're going to become much more social and you're going to transform your whole self doing this for a period of years and so you got to become your own greatest cheerleader here nobody else is going to cheerlead you you have to cheerlead yourself so if you have a shitty night you have to at the end of the night you have to tell yourself well yeah tonight was a shitty night but you know what my shitty nights they they i still learn lessons here what are the lessons from the shitty night and oftentimes what i find is that after my shittiest nights the next nights are oftentimes my best nights because it forces me to double down and to work even harder the following night and to not take my knights for granted for example i might go out and this particular night i'm in a bad mood i only do one approach instead of 20 the way i wanted to only one and i feel shitty at the end of the night for only doing one approach but then because i feel so shitty the next night when i go out i remember that experience of having that one approaching how miserable i felt for doing that one approach the next night i go out i'll do 20 approaches because i would rather do 20 face the anxiety of doing 20 than having a night where i only do one and then feeling shitty about it for the rest of the day so keep reminding yourself of this larger vision and keep telling yourself this is going to be worth it you're going to get better but it's a very very steep learning curve and that you're at the beginning of the learning curve so it's okay if you have some horrible brutal nights don't judge yourself on a daily basis judge yourself on a monthly basis see yourself improving every month if you keep going out consistently you will be improving every month you'll see your interactions become longer they hook harder you're escalating better your verbals are getting better you're becoming more funny you're becoming um in you're entering state faster your approaches are stronger and clearer you're gonna see this over a period of months but you may not see it day to day there is variability between your days some days are just gonna be bad days some days are gonna be very slow some days you're gonna walk into a club or a bar and there's gonna be anybody that hardly anybody there worth opening and you still gotta make something of it stick in there now how do you get started with all this if you're extremely shy and you have social anxiety to the point where it's hard for you to even talk to a stranger this might be too much for you what i explained above so you got to break it down into baby steps so first start with basic socialization practice the way you do this is you go to malls and stores or shops and you just talk to clerks and to cashiers go to a empty mall where it's not busy and just spend a few hours trying to chat up the mall clerks at the department store it might be an old lady she might be 60 years old just chat with her non-sexually of course you're just gonna chat with her find out about her life try to make the conversation interesting rather than just boring and just get to know her socialize with her see how long you can keep the conversation going you might even make her feel good about her day give her a compliment tell her you like how she dresses or you like her smile or something like that and just see how far you can make it go um as a store clerk she's basically obligated to talk to you so you know start this way do that for a month if you need to in order to get socially comfortable enough that you can actually start to go out to bars and clubs and do something more with sexual intent behind it with younger girls that you're actually attracted to also when you're at the grocery store and you're checking out start chatting up the the cashier there see if you can make her talk about herself make her laugh it could be guys too i'm not saying necessarily just girls you can do it with guys if it's a guy clerk talk to the guy clerk find out about him try to make a conversation going talk to strangers if you're in a taxi talk to the taxi driver if you're an airport talk to the guy sitting next to you you can actually go to parks sit on a park bench near somebody near a stranger just strike up a conversation try this first you can also go to meetup groups use meetup.com to find local meetup groups and just start socializing with people who are interested in similar things to you uh realistically you're going to need this before you if you're a total noob and you're really deficient in your socializing you're very introverted and have social anxiety you're going to start here before you start to get into more romantic sorts of socializing also what really helps is to find a few good wingmen using the internet forums and so forth find a few good wingmen who can a demonstrate how to do approaching you can watch them doing it this is very helpful and b they can give you that emotional support and when you're feeling down or you don't know what to do they can give you some advice if they're more experienced than you and the other thing you can try here if you're extremely shy is and this is actually how i started the first time i went to a club in my entire life i went there and i didn't have any intentions of actually talking to girls per se i just went there to dance i literally went to the club i didn't drink the music was playing and i just danced for like two or three hours by myself on the dance floor you know there's a bunch of people around me but i wasn't there with friends or anybody and i just danced and i enjoyed the music and i had fun and actually what happened was that i was in such a good state after two hours of dancing i was covered in sweat from dancing um really enjoying the music feeling good in my body and then what happened was that a girl approached me she started dancing with me just because i was having so much fun by myself dancing and she actually kissed me uh just out of the blue i didn't i didn't do any game on her i didn't even try i didn't even go to the club with that intention the reason that worked is because i was in such a good state this shows you the power of state and the power of actually enjoying what you're doing so make sure when you're going out you're actually enjoying the process as much as possible now how long does it take to get results well if by results you mean sex then like i said earlier in part one it took me about 450 approaches to get my first lay from i was doing both night game and day game at that time most of those approaches were night game but this first result came from day game so that's what it took me that's probably what it would take most newbies it takes about five to ten thousand approaches to get good and consistent if you're doing 20 approaches a day times three days a week times four weeks that's 240 approaches a month or 2880 approaches in a year that's a really good number aim for that aim for 20 approaches three nights a week four weeks a month for an entire year if you can manage that that's almost 3 000 approaches in a year that's a lot it's going to be very difficult for that first year but once you get past that first year now you're going to develop a little bit of decent game and some nice self-confidence you're going to shatter many of your limiting beliefs and you're going to get some results maybe you'll get 3 to 10 lays out of those 3 000 approaches and you should be happy with that that's a pretty good result now it's going to take an enormous amount of work it's going to be very difficult and you're still not going to be very consistent by the end of that year but you will have a solid enough understanding of how game works and you're going to know all of your own deficiencies and where you got to work up to and what your sticking points are you're going to know all of that by the end of that year and then you're gonna be in a nice position to keep going and keep growing and then you know as you work up to five thousand to ten thousand approaches that's where you're gonna start to develop some serious consistency and then that's where the serious results the serious results come i would say at the 10 000 approach mark if you get there but very few guys will get there because it just requires so much work but if you do the payoff will be enormous so i recommend you go out two to four nights a week if you can or move to a city where that's possible consistency here is key is key find places with lots of women be careful about watching and listening to too much theory there's a lot of pickup theory online and you can get lost in thousands of hours of listening to theory i've basically given you all the theory you need for now start going out and approaching based on just these three episodes that are going to be part of this series when it comes to drinking i recommend you don't drink at all completely avoid it it's unhealthy it'll ruin your brain it'll ruin your liver ruin your health it'll cost you thousands of dollars in the end and it basically gains you nothing and it's not going to improve your game uh in fact it's going to lose you learning opportunities because you're going to you're going to be sloppy with your game when you're drunk and you're also not going to retain reference experience and memories as well when you're drunk it's completely unnecessary so don't drink i i never drink so it's definitely doable uh try to enjoy the steep learning curve rather than wishing it away rather than wishing this whole process to be easy take on the challenge of the steep learning curve and use it to just make yourself a stronger man at the end of your nights every night analyze your sets and ask yourself what went well what went poorly and what did you learn what new distinctions did you make that night do this every single night for years and your game will blossom and you will create very fine and very accurate distinctions and then this is ultimately how you learn see my episode called learning equals making distinctions that episode actually is very crucial for helping you to learn game or really anything but especially game try to work on one sticking point every single night for example if you're going out tonight work on your eye contact or work on squaring up or work on um physical escalation or work on you know push pull verbal techniques or work on being more funny or work on being more comfortable and relaxing your body or work on making uh observational openers so you observe the girl and you make an opener based on what you observed about her and keep practicing that and usually what i would do is i would even stick for an entire week or an entire month on one single sticking point for example when it comes to physical escalation that would probably require an entire month of going out every single day for a month just working on physical escalation to really lock that one in if you're talking about eye contact at least for a few weeks you've got to be every single night working on eye contact the whole night just that to lock that one in and then just keep doing that week by week by week with different sticking points until you develop some sort of you know solid game it's important also that you distinguish between attraction versus relationships so everything i'm talking about in this series called how to get laid is basically what i would call attraction this is not relationship advice and how you act and the game that you use to get attraction is not something you got to be running inside of a relationship people get this wrong so what i mean by the attraction is basically i'm talking about from the point where you meet her to the point where you sleep with her the first time that entire thing i'm going to call like the attraction phase of your interaction with a woman so this attraction phase includes the attraction the rapport and the seduction all the way up to first sex then after first sex and then really multiple times of sex then it starts to get into relationship territory there is no relationship without sex so um once she has sex with you the entire dynamic flips around because the problem before she has sex with you she's not invested in you at all she has no loyalty to you at all she will likely not return your phone calls or your texts she doesn't care about you at all basically until sex once sex happens now she's invested in you now she cares now you can convert that into a girlfriend situation into a real relationship especially after you have sex with her multiple times once that happens you don't need to keep running some sort of crazy elaborate game on her you can relax and chill out a little bit and just kind of trust the things we'll go find and just there then we transition into relationship advice relationship advice is a whole different can of worms i'm gonna have videos specifically on relationship advice and how to handle that stuff there's a totally different set of challenges there that have nothing to do with with game pretty much um the reason we got to run game is to spark her emotions because otherwise she's too logical to have sex with you women do not have sex based on logic they have sex based on emotions so even though you're you you could be an amazing guy you could even want to pay for her you could even want to support her you could even want to have children with her you could want to be the best boyfriend in the world to her but none of that matters to her unless you stimulate her emotions enough for her to get how to have sex with you and then she's invested until then she's not invested in you so to do that we got to get you out of your logical head and we got to get you approaching and we got to get you physically escalating and taking the lead and being assertive and having strong eye contact and good vocal tonality and good body posture and some flirting skills and knowing how to lead how to pull and how to close all these things and then you can have your relationship and in the relationship you could have love and all this beautiful stuff romance yes relationships are awesome i'm not against relationships at all but to have that relationship first you gotta attract the girl all right that's it for part two stay tuned for part three in part three i'm gonna talk about more about the hook point how to tell when the hook point is reached how quickly you can reach the hook point and how to tell if she's attracted to you i'm also going to talk about the top 25 principles of game it's a very important list i'm also going to talk about a list of the top 30 biggest newbie mistakes that newbies make i'm going to talk about how to not run out of things to say that's a big problem that many guys face other miscellaneous tips and i'm going to finish with talking about the ethics of pickup and how to avoid some of the toxic aspects of the pickup community that i've been critical about in the past and how to avoid abusing this newfound power that these skills will grant you all right that's it the last thing i want to mention here is my life purpose course if you are going to be working on games seriously you also should think about finding your sense of life purpose that's what my life purpose course is about it's over 25 hours of exclusive content that you don't find on my free channel that focuses specifically very practically on how to help you to find your sense of life purpose and align your career with that and really your entire life with that it's like it's like your life without a life purpose is like you're like a slug with no spine and then with a life purpose you develop a spine you develop a sort of an arc a sort of a overarching structure to your whole life that orients you and having a sense of life purpose is extremely attractive to women when when a man has this kind of life purpose and your life purpose is the thing that creates endless motivation that you use for building your business your finances your career your health and your relationships and for developing game it's not enough just to be doing personal development piecemeal like oh i'm going to improve a little bit of my muscles and i'm going to improve a little bit of my nutrition and i'm going to improve a little bit of my game it's like no you want to have an overarching sort of narrative and direction to your entire life a really big picture perspective for your entire life and the life purpose course helps you to do that so i recommend that as you're learning game you're also developing your sense of life purpose and this sense of life purpose is what gives you that solidity that strength that confidence that clarity of what you want in life women love this this is ultimately the deep inner game you need to be attractive to women because what women are looking for is that sense of stability a man who knows what he wants who has values and principles that he follows a man who's like a rock grounded and then she can orbit around that the feminine energy can wrap itself around that and that produces a beautiful dynamic but it takes a lot of work to find your life purpose and to align with your life purpose and there's a lot of ways you can screw it up so the life purpose course check that out it basically takes you step by step through the principles and the techniques and the process that i use to find my life purpose and to to use that to basically build out my entire life and to have motivation for all the stuff that i do and that i teach you